molding-myself-to-be-a-man

It’s amazing how much a haircut can change your appearance. These two pictures are from today and are about 2 hours a part. Granted I didn’t do the best job cutting my hair today.

My hair was making me really dysphoric, I guess because I haven’t passed at all lately. And I’m really hoping this haircut makes a difference, cause normally when I cut my hair I pass alot more. So I guess I do it as a way to cope with the dysphoria of not passing because when I don’t past I feel like I need to change something. And the thing that I can change all the time is my hair.

being a trans guy isnt the only thing important to me..

my sexuality isnt put together, but its important to me.

women are very attractive, and sexy.

but i couldnt be in a relationship with one.

im sexually attracted to all sorts of people

but im only romantically attracted to men

i really wish i could just be pansexual. i really do. but i cant date women cis or otherwise, i dont have any passion for women romantically, i have never met a girl that i get awkward around, or think to myself “wow, shes amazing”… but i can see myself messing around with a girl and having sex. but i dont want to do that stuff with people im not in a relationship with. so in my head its a weird circle. but i just wish i could love anyone both sexually and romantically. i hate that i only feel half of it with women.

TRIGGER WARNING way too much info…way too much, partying, drinking, weird things happening.
Books?

I’ve been reading a lot lately and was wondering if anyone knew of any good books about trans guys

***SPOILERS***

I just read parrotfish, which was good, but entirely out of season. And it lacked alot of the problems that trans people face. It very briefly mentioned binding, and the bathroom situation trans people face. But didn’t go into any detail what so ever.. It just focused on a person who is trans having problems with people using the correct name. Which is fine I guess. But more details on the trans parts of his life would have been nice. Like not just mentioning he ordered a binder then leaving it at that but showing how he reacted to getting it, and how he felt more confident would have been nice. So things like that…Because without it it was pretty bland except for the drama in it with other people not liking the fact that he’s different for being trans. his story isnt based around his transition. Its based on the over all fact that he’s a trans guy who lost a friend because he came out as trans and his family also doesn’t really like it too much and everyone thinks it’s weird. Other then that it’s a Christmas story.


So anyway if anyone has any book suggestions let me know and I’ll look into them.

well is a problem.

soooo…. i dislocated my shoulder yesterday….for the second time… now how the fuck am i suppose to get my binder on?

getting it off is completely different then putting it on.

sk8ertran:

"trans men have access to women’s spaces"

Like any of us WANT to be included in a space that’ll misgender us and treat us like “gender traitors”.

Not every trans man is a 14 year old butch lesbian who thinks not conforming with gender roles = being trans.

dude i love your blog just sayin
Anonymous

why thankyou :)

i got a job

first off they dont know im trans. they just think im a girl.

and when talking to customers for some god forsaken reason my voice automatically goes up in pitch.

so between that anxiety and the anxiety of just starting a technically full time job, and school finals. 

i have dropped around 10 pounds in about a week. 

ive been physically weak.

and i actually had to leave my first full day early because i was gagging while working (partly from the smell of food)

this job is going to slowly kill me. and today is only my second full day. 

fuckyeahftms:

Check out Ben with FTrealM talking about being trans* and forming new relationships.

He talks about his fears and worries as a stealth transman and the complications of forming new friendships.

out of curiosity

i know their’s a back and forth debate between the full length double front compression binder and the tri-top. 

ive only ever owned the double front and it has worked fine but im noticing a lot of pressure on my lower back.

for anyone who has switched binders has that eliminated or at least lessened some of that problem? or is it just me having a really shitty back?